Category Archives: me in campus

3 movies on a same breath

My lecturer of adolescent psychology inquired me and other students to do the movie analysis .. The movies are related to teenagers/adolscents issues. It was not my first time doing that but he gave me different kind. He wanted me to put some theory-free analysis but still have no forget to put psychological basis statements there, not only a rubbish :D. Sad, I had to take 3 films and I thought that watching 3 films ain’t as nice as just a film, it made me nauseous. He gave us a list of those films, and finally I chose these 3 films :

december_boys

this film should be boring, i guess. maybe because this tale of four young orphans coming of age in 1960s-era Australia. the year when your mom was born, haha. Soon after the quartet leaves the orphanage behind for a seaside holiday, rumors that one of them is about to be adopted lead to steadily rising tensions among the tightly knit group. The youngest ‘member’ of that peer group finally has been chosen to be adopted by the young couple which could no longer have a child after had a car crash.

the touching scene were the last part, where Misty (the youngest boy who has been chosen to be adopted) preferred staying on his peer group to moving to his new family. he said something that giving me such a slap to my cheek. i didn’t note the exact lines but i recognized it is all about love and belonging. That is, living our life will be more beautiful if we stay and breath with our loved ones. Family is not about ‘mother, father, brother, and sister’, family is all about love. Love is all about them. i wrote those lines on my paperwork, i hope those are yet describing how my eyes got widely opened by the film. And so the boredom brings not only a shit but also a lesson even more. 🙂

Romeo-Juliet

Gah, the popular one! Based on a classic story by William Shakespeare, i drove myself running this film. my lecturer has said, “sebaiknya jangan menonton film yang kalian sudah tonton sebelumnya, tetapi bila kalian memang ingin menonton, tonton dengan pandangan yang berbeda (better not to watch the film that you have watched before, but if you’re still so, watch it through with your different paradigm”. I did not really mind it because as too many assignments that i have to finish, there will be no need to complicate the existed one.

This film is too romantic, don’t you think?  R and J were too in love with each other. Worse, they were teenagers, often easy to be mad, to be agitated, and the oh-so-deep feeling came then ruined their life, gave them a death. Dead by love? It is kind of sacrifice maybe, average people say. But logically, it was stupefied.  But again, Logical thinking and feeling will never be unidirectional, somehow we find them in a different place. One is exact and the other is abstract. Love consists in both logical thinking and feeling, we can’t stand one of them alone. Yes we love our loved one(s), but, will ‘dead together in the edge of teenage’ be  acceptable to you? You have anything to point, guys.

billy_elliott

i have as well caught this movie before, but i didn’t really remember the scene specifically. When i was writing about this movie, i fell asleep and tired is the only cause.

Billy, 11-year-old teenager who has lost his parent since he was a kid, was trying to learn ballet dance at his school. As he is a boy, ballet dance could and should be forbidden. He’s supposed to train his boxing ability, more than that girls’ after-school program. Later, ballet was not only becoming his interest, but also his dream, yeah it’s his dream. he tried harder and harder to be better on it. I watched some of the scenes defining that he did anything to learn ballet. he often hid from his nurturers (i forget what he usually calls them), because he knew that if they *nurturers* saw him ballet dancing, they would be totally in mad. what will people say if they know there is a boy with an interest in ballet dance? hihi..

We call it ‘classification’, or ‘stereotype’. Ballet dance has been classified by public as a feminine stuff (also with its pointe shoes, laces and bows, stockings, pinkish costumes). Most of ballet dancers are women, and men will be riskier if they join to women’s group/society than women in men’s group. actually it is unfair, but it’s not about fair or unfair, is it? it’s the end 😦 . Billy tried to break the ‘rule’ of man, he preferred achieve his dream and closed his ears to anything that sounds mocking. and i’m obviously with him, tend to get anything i want, anything i need and anything i’m dying to get. i will always praise all the suggestions, advices and supports, but not mocks, i’ll dump them. 🙂

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being rejected by lecturer

Hahahaha, WTF? Nevertheless, yes for real, my lecturer has rejected me this afternoon. I was absolutely in shock the moment after the rejection happened. It was my 1st time, being rejected, I have never been like that before. My mistake, I know. I was super tired yet after attended the field-study this morning. I went home after mentoring section was finished, took a roll of tobacco, after that, I lied my tired-body in bed, then I fell asleep *on sudden*. I got awake at 1, let myself prepared, then departed to atma. Another WTF, the traffic has got its jam, so umm.. I was late. Lius *my friend* told me in his text to stride quicker and  quiiick-eerrrr because the hilarious-American-Javanese-articulation of my lecturer was wounding their ears, especially for those who came late. I was wondering whether I could come or not, but still … I challenged myself to, with heartbeats and nerves. I opened the door and she said, “Sorry saya gak terima tuh..” *sorry I can’t accept you*. What the … hahahahaha! Hoo gosh, I felt like I’m a jerk student who deserves to be rejected, rejected with her sentiment.

Yea yea, I take this as an experience. Being rejected by a lecturer, a middle-age-and-single woman who dealing with her pre-menopause syndrome (hahahaha, hey I’m seriouuuss!), haa it’s so funneeeh.

The latent message I can get : don’t be a sentimental while on a pre-menopause syndrome. It’s not really good for people around you. LOL.

cheers.

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(more) blasted week!

Yes yes yeeess, I’ll have a long holiday and many time-offs next week. Maybe God knows I’m dying this week. I found myself got trapped into the foolishness of college and lacked of desire to enjoy my life (because I don’t have any time to coddle myself with my interests). As my promise last week, I won’t be lazy this week, and I take it. I reverted to my old rule : have to chiefly pertain myself to my main ambition, graduated cum laude, huuuff.. I know my college will ferment myself with assignments, but isn’t it an upshot? “If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you got to wake up and pay attention.” – Sister Act 2 the movie. However, it’s not really difficult being a person with a compulsive need to work, even though I’m not a-100%-painstaking person, but painstakingness is the way running in my blood.

Hmmh.. by the way, on last Wednesday, I had my first day being a counselor. I chose a public junior high school near my house to be the place I give the counseling. Why must junior high? It mustn’t, actually we decide on our own, and it was my impulsive decision. LOL. Ok back to the topic, I have to give some lessons about self-improvement to those students. After had a good deal with the guidance-and-counseling teachers, they placed me at 2 classes, 7th grade and 8th grade. I was utterly nervous on my first day. i didn’t know how the class act, how the students treat me, and something like that. But wooow, what a surprise, they behave nicely, quite noisy but they are teenagers, oh come on! They are sweet, innocent (half not). I often heard some normative (concrete operational) thoughts from them, can’t see the whole part of an issue, that signify immaturity of them. However, It’s fine, they have a super-loooong time to go. And I’m impressed, they are nice. 🙂

Ok now, I want to do a homework that Priska has given to me (thank you, dearest!). And the rules are:

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button (ONLY ONCE!!!) to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS – even if it is incredibly embarrassing.
4. Tag 15 friends who might enjoy doing the same as well as the person you got the note from.

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY…
labels of love – fergie (love is always okay, isn’t it?)

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Low – Flo rida Ft T pain (low? OMG!!)

3) WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GIRL/GUY?
Corazon Espinado – Santana (I don’t know what this song is describing about)

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
pretty fly for a white guy – The offspring (hahaha, I’m pretty flying! *but not for a white guy!)

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE?
Lucky – Jason Mraz (Amen!)

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
better man – Robbie Williams (better woman, yes it is)

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
insomnia – Craig david (baahahah! Hypersomniaaaa!!!)

8 ) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Shakespeare in love – layla kaylif (how romantic!)

9) WHAT IS 2+2?

Would you be happier? – the corrs (?????)

10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I think God can explain – Splender (hahahaha, okay, let God explain. God will explain, friends. LOL)

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Runaway – The corrs (I won’t!!!)

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
just a lil bit – 50 cent (lil bit what? Lil bit messy, I guess, hahaha!)

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
there she goes – sixpence non the richer (here I go (again))

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
hide you – kosheen (not to be crabbed by any slut around me)

15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
smoke – Natalie imbruglia (oh, they haven’t known yet that I smoke)

16) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
heaven knows – rick price (nice song..)

17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
jenny – the click five (hahahah! Another nice song (although I’m not really sure it’s nice as well for funeral, what do you think?)

18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
hot n cold – katy perry (hot chocolate and cold (iced) chocolate, yuuumm!)

19) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
the rock show – blink 182 (yeaaay! you guys always roooock my life!)

20) WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
stupid – martin brothers (so, just stop it stupidly)

21) HOW WILL YOU DIE?

Lonely no more – rob Thomas (of course not, I wouldn’t ask anybody to die with me, I’ll die alone)

22) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
don’t stop the music – rihanna (ah, unrelated!)

23) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH
shy guy – Diana king (hhahaha, shy guy? Why are you shy, guy?)

24) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
angel – shaggy (another unrelated!)

25) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

Ring my bells – Enrique iglesias (will there a bell at my wedding? Like a school-bell or a doorbell? Hahahah!)

26) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Party people – fergie ft nelly (so stay away from me, hahaha! *did I scare you?*)

27) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
i’m really hot – missy Elliott (ROFL. am i?)

28) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
go on girl – ne yo (So I wouldn’t change anything, perhaps)

29) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
umbrella – rihanna (not the umbrella, but the weather!!!!)

30) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
turn off the light – nelly furtado. (and do this in the unenlightened room. Hahah!)

Done! Hahaha, the results are so funny. Oh, what time is it? Noooo.. I have to go, everybody. I’m tagging EVERYONE!! See you guys later, and have a great weekend!

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being lazy on the early May

Hell’o People, how are ya? Good? Excellent!! 🙂 I’m fine too but not that fine. I think I should declare that I got very much absences of attending my classes this week. And I think this week is my laziest week, baaahahaha!

On Monday : I have a class at 9 every Monday, and on this Monday, I woke up at 8.40 (my fault, I know!) and at the same time, I did disappointment to my friends (my 3 teammates). I should have given a presentation about mood disorders. We were not presenters actually, we’re revisers that have a task to meliorate their (presenters) paper-work, a way better than what they’ve already done, maybe we put some trustable theories; add various researches or case examples of that disorder. Bloody shit, I woke up late that morning (8.40, did I tell you firstly? LOL. I’m not proud!) Caused by being-late-to-go-sleeping and I could not reach a REM sleep along the night. My body has been fucking killing me since Last Saturday, and you know when we’re sick, there will be a phase where we can’t sleep as good as when we’re fine, and I was on that phase. I felt like my head is whirling confoundedly, my body divided into the pieces, and I can’t breathe easily. *roaring gratingly*  fiuuh, what a day?!

On Tuesday : Things were going well, i felt. I had a class at 7 (and i was not late). just a half of students came (or maybe only a few).  Many of my classmates had a data intake with their subject. they were countenanced by my lecturer to not-coming to the class. i have had it on Sunday.  In the afternoon, i had some feedbacks from my lecturer about my experimental research’s proposal, and the deadline (to finish it until it’s really reaaalllyy finished) will be on 25th – 29th of  May. OMG!!!

On Wednesday : I was still sick. I couldn’t get my body’s up, although my eyes were just opened widely. I sent a text message to my friend telling her that I couldn’t and wouldn’t come. Then I fell asleep. Thank God it was a good sleep. At that sleeping time, I could reach my REM sleep. I promised myself not to be late or absent tomorrow. It’s not good for my uni life.

On Thursday : I did GOOD. Hahahaa. I came on time, although there was no class because my lecturer wanted to hear our experience about being a counselor. I haven’t met my counselee (client) yet, actually my first day being a counselor will be on next Monday (pray for me, guys! :D), so I kept the silence and listened to them (my friends). They have such a commendable experience to share (to learn, of course). So many children (or teenagers) have various unfortunate lives.  But only a couple of things we can do to help them. Even worse, the only person who can help them is they. *is it worse, or inevitable? or both? or not any thing?*

On Friday : another late waking up hahahah!. I’ve got a sleeping problem (agaiinn), and I cursed my sickness harshly. Umm.. But I gave heed to my MOW (clinical interview methodology for diagnosis, blablablaaa..) class, and next week I’ll have a presentation. Ew! After a class, I had a fun meeting with my friends. My peer group when I was on a high school. They were terribly boosting my mood to the highest (read : super happy, euphoric, larger-than-life).

I recognize what has just happened this week, and then I spontaneously laugh. “Poor me”, me said silently. I had to battle with some bastard-ing conditions that run simultaneously and make me feel dumb as well. However, I thank God. 😀

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chewing gum and memory

Hello all, well how was your week? It’s almost a week since my last post. Yeah this is my mid semester test weeks; I have to abandon my blog and my other guilty pleasures. (But, Own a blog isn’t a kind of guilty pleasure, is it?)

Now I’m googling to seek many theories about my experimental (kind) assignment. It’s boring and interesting at the same time. My experiment is standing under the construct of memory. Why I use memory for my construct? Because memory is capable to be measured, and it has its own standardization, so we don’t need to make any standard score., they have made it already. My team (has 5 personnel include me) and I decided to have a research problem: Do chewing gum have any influences to the short term memory?. For me it’s not really exciting, but yet I’m excited, hahaha! The fundamental reason is that we have already found the phenomenon at my faculty, describes about the condition, which is demanding the students to have a good memory, in order to store and/or recall all the lessons, especially at the 1st year studying. So many theories we need to know them on exact.

gumkitty enjoys the gum, hahah!

Nah, I have just read about the theory of memory, telling that chewing gum may improve our memory. If your cognitive skills are not at their best, you may just need a stick of gum to boost your brain power. Research at the University of Northumbria and the Cognitive Research Unit in Reading, England, shows that the repetitive chewing motion positively influences thinking, memory, and other mental tasks. *sigh* Andrew Scholey of the University’s Human Cognitive Neuroscience Unit presented his team’s findings at the 2001 British Psychological Society’s annual conference in Blackpool. He explained that “the mild increase in heart rate may improve the delivery of oxygen and glucose to the brain, enough to improve cognitive function.”. Additionally, chewing gum induces a surge of insulin due to the mouth watering in anticipation of a meal. “It is known that there are insulin receptors in areas of the brain important for learning and memory,” Scholey said.

Then what are we going to do with this jerky research? We ascertain the accuracy and reliability of this theory when it demonstrates practically (don’t forget that theory and practice are not that determined and alike, they may change, they may be different). The experiment will have 30-40 samples from my faculty, and they will be sorted into 2 groups. Each group will have the different treatment. Group A will chew a gum, and group B will not. Both of those groups will have a task to remember a phrase, or few rhymes of poetry (we’ll choose which task is better, as soon as we need, ahaah!). After remembering (and storing into their memory), they have to fill in the blank, about the poetry or the phrase that they’ve already remembered. Hope with this experiment, we really find it out then.

This is my 1st time doing an experiment. I’m both curious and anxious. =((((

PS : if you want to learn more about chewing gum and memory, you can click this site, or this.

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trashy story, don’t read if don’t have any time. =P

I don’t even know what my lecturers were thinking about. They gave me the deadline before Easter Holiday. Really, really asshole! Okay, due to catholic university, i always have 3 days holiday on Christians’ holy week, start on Maundy Thursday (no, not on Ash Wednesday, we still have a class and be busy), then Good Friday, Holy Saturday, finally end on Palm Sunday (or paschal). I’m now not going to explain about those days, I’m not a liturgy and I have nothing with it. I’m blind.

What I’m talking about is that I’m going to curse my pre-holy week assignments which make me swear that I’ll be dead on Wednesday, LOL. My nerve is just on the top of head, I become panicky, and for God’s sake, I HATE BEING LIKE THIS, I HATE!!! I haven’t got good sleep, the time was running out (like a song’s title, hahaha!), and was more important than money (no ‘time is money’ left, now time is more than everything. haah, too much!!)

I’m trapped in the catholic uni which has (too) high-standardization and we (students) need to work out of our capability if we want to graduate on the time. Hell what? I just want my certificate, my title, be a cum laude, why do they make it so hard? What an anal! *out of control, I’m sorry for my uneducated speaking* I’m not the follower of Christ but If Jesus resurrected (again?) in front of my eyes, I’d asked Him to see how shit my lecturers are. It’s not a good action to cursing lecturers, I know, but have to express my anger before it’s exploded, before I’m depressed, I have to save my self from anything, hahahaha, another too much!

my best friends, hahahaha! FCK! i don’t need lecturer,
i just need these.

I almost cried at class this morning, my lecturer said about the deadline would be on Wednesday, and on Tuesday I have to collect my scoring-and-or-interpreting task (it’s not easy, I remind you! It is about somebody’s life, I need to be professional with extra compulsive and carefully thinking), then on Wednesday I’ll give a presentation but yet with collect that psychometrics-hectic assignment. Just (subjectively) saying, psychometrics is the most disgusting subject ever, and that is the only subject which makes me suffering *inhaling, exhaling*. Actually, all I need is a time out, just a while, why I can’t have it? I have a right to take my time out, but I think my lecturer doesn’t want to give it. Ok, if like that, i’ll take it on my own.

Fiuhh. Tired. God, I’m tired. I’m bored, and silently crying. I feel like I can’t do this, seems like it’s getting harder and harder. This condition is so slugging me. I have to be more creative to keep my sane, to struggle with, and finally pass it. But how? Everyone gives me shit, everything is an ass, and everytime is a stuck out.
I think it’s enough. I have to back to my real life, face it through, dead or still alive, there’s always a strength.
i wish, i can enjoy my holy-week holiday fully. amin amin amiin.

According to Alexander the great : “a wise man knows when to stop”, and now I stop.

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busy

I’m facing such a busy-stressful semester now, I can’t be often to update this blog and it’s bad at all. Blog writing is my hobby, and how come I can’t do my hobby? Darn. I’ve got only a year left to graduate my bachelor and seems it’s getting hard then. Nothing is easy in this world. According to the wise man, we have to pay (too) much attention to get what we want, to reach our dreams, to make our life worth living. I don’t want to sigh a lot, it won’t give me any better, but just another sigh.

I’ve chosen my minor, I chose clinical psychology, did I tell you before? That minor stereotyped as the hardest and busiest minor on entire psychological setting. I decided to choose this minor consciously, without force, spontaneity, and impulsivity, I did smart thinking, 100%! So I haven’t got any reason to be regret, and I won’t!! However, beyond everything, I’m only human who can feel depressed and sometimes overwhelmed, but hell-ooo, I’m not a baby now, I should and have to cope with all these. I don’t want to be spoiled, and I think I’m born to be strong, as what my family condition has treated me like, as my mum’s modeling, I’ll keep on silence if anything.

Ah damn, I can’t be longer here, I have to go to finish my assignment, but I’ll back soon. Tomorrow is holiday, hope I can spend at least my little time to write a post or (I hope) more.
See you guys later, and have a nice day.

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