I don’t even know what my lecturers were thinking about. They gave me the deadline before Easter Holiday. Really, really asshole! Okay, due to catholic university, i always have 3 days holiday on Christians’ holy week, start on Maundy Thursday (no, not on Ash Wednesday, we still have a class and be busy), then Good Friday, Holy Saturday, finally end on Palm Sunday (or paschal). I’m now not going to explain about those days, I’m not a liturgy and I have nothing with it. I’m blind.
I’m trapped in the catholic uni which has (too) high-standardization and we (students) need to work out of our capability if we want to graduate on the time. Hell what? I just want my certificate, my title, be a cum laude, why do they make it so hard? What an anal! *out of control, I’m sorry for my uneducated speaking* I’m not the follower of Christ but If Jesus resurrected (again?) in front of my eyes, I’d asked Him to see how shit my lecturers are. It’s not a good action to cursing lecturers, I know, but have to express my anger before it’s exploded, before I’m depressed, I have to save my self from anything, hahahaha, another too much!
I almost cried at class this morning, my lecturer said about the deadline would be on Wednesday, and on Tuesday I have to collect my scoring-and-or-interpreting task (it’s not easy, I remind you! It is about somebody’s life, I need to be professional with extra compulsive and carefully thinking), then on Wednesday I’ll give a presentation but yet with collect that psychometrics-hectic assignment. Just (subjectively) saying, psychometrics is the most disgusting subject ever, and that is the only subject which makes me suffering *inhaling, exhaling*. Actually, all I need is a time out, just a while, why I can’t have it? I have a right to take my time out, but I think my lecturer doesn’t want to give it. Ok, if like that, i’ll take it on my own.
Fiuhh. Tired. God, I’m tired. I’m bored, and silently crying. I feel like I can’t do this, seems like it’s getting harder and harder. This condition is so slugging me. I have to be more creative to keep my sane, to struggle with, and finally pass it. But how? Everyone gives me shit, everything is an ass, and everytime is a stuck out.
I think it’s enough. I have to back to my real life, face it through, dead or still alive, there’s always a strength.
i wish, i can enjoy my holy-week holiday fully. amin amin amiin.
According to Alexander the great : “a wise man knows when to stop”, and now I stop.