Most of my lectures are always ended by this (kind of) issue. Social support. Someone who has an emotional discomfort will need social support to help her/him to struggle. For example, a girl who suffering post-traumatic stress disorder after experienced a sexual-rape would be tougher to through her stressful condition if her family didn’t neglect her. How if she’s neglected? I think you know the answer.
Unfortunately, some of our populations (in our region we live) aren’t able to give any social support. They probably have given, but useless (mostly caused by their unfriendly way of talking), or they haven’t got a sense (or ability?) to understand how we feel (simpler: has a low level of awareness). I think we don’t need to be a sensitive person to know others’ feeling, we just have to care. I often read cases about mental problem that will get worse because the patient doesn’t have enough social support from people around him/her. Sad, right? The number of Mental illness’ patients increases because lack of social support too. Gaah! Hey, look! Only half patients on mental hospital have been visited by their family. I do really want to laugh after reading this fact. Me personally, always try to give some support for anybody around me, at least say to them that they’ll be ok soon.
About 2 week ago, my friend lost her momma. Her beautiful-maternal mum died from an ovarian cancer, which chronically laid in her body since … maybe 5 or 6 years ago. 3 days after her mum’s death, She (my friend) was (still) very depressed (of course she was! who wasn’t???). I often found her crying, did nothing, or did something but without enthusiasm like she does normally. My lecturer asked me what was going on with her (she found many changed behavior on my friend), she thought she’s different. Finally I told her (lecturer) about her (friend) condition. My lecturer spontaneously said that I have to give her some motivation, social support (hha!!), and always be able if she needs me. “as a friend and psychologist-to-be, we have to be sensible for this kind of problem, I think you can’t go through her and do nothing, blablabla …”, she said. “Why me? She has got 2 sisters and father, who always beside her…” I asked, not because I don’t care about my friend, but I just wanted to know the reason(s) why she said that (naughty me!). Then she continued with an answer, “Because you’re her friend, Sarah. Friends’ motivations can make us emotionally attached, and they will wonderfully help us to relieve from our sadness or another kind of negative feeling.” (Then she smiled to me, and went out from class). Yeah she’s right. I have to do all those, for her.
A couple of hours later, I met her in the canteen. I looked her smoking. I joined with her, and borrowed her light (hahahahah!). I tried to open a conversation but I got stuck. *ah shshshiiit!!!* and what an unexpected, she talked! She told me how she missed her mom so much, and so on (too long to explain). I can see in her eyes (her eyes told me too, indirectly) how terrible her feeling was, deep inside my heart, i cried. I hugged her, and she cried on my shoulder. I let her crying for a moment then gave her a glass of water. After that, we kept silent. No talk, no laugh, but I stayed my body close to her. There’s no talk again until the time to go home. Her driver picked her up and I went to the plaza semanggi to meet my high school friends. When I was at plangi, I received a message from her. “Sar, thanks for your kind and support, also for your shoulder, hehe! You know something? I can’t cry since her death, I was too shocked. And finally, I cried, fiuuh! You’ve given me a place to cry and I can’t tell you how blessed I am, have a friend like you and them (her another friends).”. I replied, “You’re welcome dear, I know it’s hard, everybody knows, but life must go on. Allow yourself to cry, but don’t stop your step after this, go go go!! I know you’re strong, we are strong, everybody’s strong..”. i told my friends to support her whatever the way is, and my friends were very welcome to do that.
Day by day, she gets better *Alhamdulillah!!!!*. And now, she can draw a smile again, she can laugh as usually, her GPA went down but she thought she’ll fix it next semester. See? Social support has just perfectly worked. Conscious or unconsciously, her circumstance wanted her to struggle, and she did it! A brief story that I’ve told you before, is a sample case about how the social support works. It’s not a sin if we do some support to our relations, it will help much, trust me.. an individualism is not a reason to stop supporting others. And I think, the happiest thing we’ve ever had is when we’re realized that everybody loves us, purely. Unconditional love. Social support is a kind of unconditional love itself. =)