a bedtime story which telling about SPIDER

(this note has already posted on my facebook)

I titled like that because I’m all out of clever things to say something good about spider. I bet, this will be the most horrible bedtime story u’ve ever read. First of all, I wanna give you the definition of a spider itself. Spider is an insect, a predatory arachnid with eight legs (OMG, it hasn’t got any hand, so how can I grab its hand by the way?? LOL), two poison fangs, two feelers, and usually two silk-spinning organs at the back end of the body; they spin silk to make cocoons for eggs or traps for prey. Spider always make a fast movement, from one place to the other place, and we’ll find it hard to catch it. Very untouchable. Edward Cullen said that a fast movement he always do is like a spider. And if u have seen twilight movie, you must know when he tells that lines.

Unfortunately, I was in love with a spider. Not a real spider, but ‘spider’. Spider that I mean is someone from a cursed place, who always laying in my mind, my heart even my unconsciousness. I had a very unforgettable first date (a date, not only a meeting). i went to the cinema with him, took the midnight show, after that, he dropped me to my house. He told me that I needn’t to tell anybody about that night, “just me and you, can you keep it?”, he asked. Yeah of course I can, why not? Day by day, week by week, our no-status-relationship was going beautifully. But one day, he asked me a confusing question again, “is this wrong?”, then I asked him back, “what ‘this’? whats wrong?”.
“this!!! Our relationship. We have no status, la la la …” Then I was realized that oh gosh, I’ll face some troubles soon, I had a bad feeling. Thank God, it didn’t take a long time, It’s just blocked.
But my dilemmatic situation hasn’t finished yet. About 3 weeks or a month later, I saw there are so many differences in his behavior, if compare with his behavior 3 or 4 weeks before. He seems like, umm.. lack of passion, have a bore, or something like that, marked by his tendency not to reply my sms, answer my phone call, and so on.

stupid feeling
stupid feeling – by sarahsita hendry on Polyvore.com

I wondered, “what happened with u, hun? And why u didn’t tell me anything? U’re blinding me, u know, and it ain’t funny!!” he told that he was like that even before I met him. No, he’s not like that. I feel such a different thing. I guess, he can’t manage his many negative feelings for our relationship. He’s too egoish to make a good deal with me, he’d rather to treat me like that, he doesn’t know how it feels like, being rejected and neglected, rrggghhh.. what the F!!! its going on for about 3 weeks till we (HE!!) decided to ending our relationship (pretend that we really have a status).

i'm trying not to jump
i’m trying not to jump – by sarahsita hendry on Polyvore.com

Maybe that time is where I had to be in a lowest-level phase on my life-span. this experience is teaching me how we should appreciate the love. each person has some different ways to express the love, and however the form of their expression, all we need to know is : love is a very special gift from God. u may be blessed if u have the love in your heart. the power, and the purity of love, can beat anything in the universe. so please save and care about your partner’s (either couple, friend, sibling, parent) feeling, don’t give them a sadness, an emptiness, or sorrow because they think they love a wrong person. love is never wrong, actually, the point is how we keep our love n grow it correctly. why did i ask u to do that? because i know how hard when i get an ignorance from THAT SPIDER. i don’t know maybe he’s jobless or what, he’s just a kind of shit that i have to throw it away. fucking SPIDER!!!
(any question guys?)

P.S : i just wanna share, its okay if u have different opinion.. =)

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2 Comments

Filed under me in love'things, me in me

2 responses to “a bedtime story which telling about SPIDER

  1. Helena Hotmonica

    i think how u tried to keep a secret ’bout what happened between two of you,was the cause why he had changed.

    anyway,life still goes on.
    never regret ’bout it.
    🙂

  2. cellini.kamil

    ah sabar ya sar.. emang gitu tuh cowo.. but i know we can find another..a better man! hehe okeoke

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